the session

11:57pm: 2006 recap session

we're going to work backwards. Today is January 1, 2007. The last entry was written on June 4, 2006. It may be long and uninteresting. It will surely be long and uninteresting. But we're going to work backwards in the order of events. Which means, each event will be written in less and less detail because memories are only good when they're bad memories. Or good memories. Mediocre memories are forgotten, and that's what this entry is. Mediocre.

So let's have it.

New Year's Day
During a basketball game, Eric had the ball and was on the edge of getting out of bounds. So in a play described as clever or dirty, depending on whose team you're on, Eric threw the ball at me so that it'd hit me and then go out of bounds so it'd be the other team's possession. Thing is, Eric missed my knees and hit my groin instead. Square. So I immediately fell down, and rolled a little and walked it off. But the abrasions against the cloth would hurt when I walked.

Didn't matter. My team won, anyway.

When we got home, I found out that we were going to Kim Son for dinner since the Uncle and Aunt from Norway don't get buffets up there. Which meant more walking. But as they say, I was able to walk it off and all was good with the world.

New Year's Eve
I woke up at 11 and began preparing the house for the aunts and uncles to come over for the rememberance of my grandfather's death. After the lunch, Gunther, Tina, my brother and I went upstairs and played cards for hours. Until everyone left and we left to go buy fireworks.

In the evening, we went to my other aunt's house for her birthday where we celebrated and had a jolly good time. Nana gave me a glass of wine and I turned red pretty well. And as much as I tried to pretend like it was a sunburn, they knew. They all knew. And apparently, my uncle and aunts from my mom's side don't turn red. And turning red is embarrassing.

After we had cake, we went to my grandmother's side to celebrate the New Year. The firecrackers first. So after 45 minutes of fireworking, my brother and I tried out the Methos/Diet Coke reaction and the results weren't as spectacular as we anticipated.

But the failure was forgotten when we went inside and gambled with the uncles, aunts and cousins until three in the morning. I ended two dollars under, and if anything, was a sign that 2007 was starting off on the wrong foot.

New Year's Eve's Eve
Anthony, a friend from American Advertising Federation (AAF), called and invited me over for poker. This one's actually pointless, except that I turned red and everybody got a kick out of it.

Christmas Eve
At church, my dad likes to sing along to the Christmas carols, but it's not always that he knows the words to the songs. So he'd make them up sometimes. Well on the way to church Mom told Dad to not sing wildly this time.

We sat in the last pew and after a little bit, a nun sat next to Dad and sang along to all the Christmas songs. She knew all the words, even to Hallelujah and Dad didn't dare sing anything this time.

We had Christmas at Vian's house. Games this year included a gingerbread house. It was team Nathan versus team Anthony, and my team consisted of a lot of little kids. So much, that when we put our house next to their house, it was apparent that our house was in the path of hurricane Katrina.

We then played charades/pictionary, aunts versus uncles. The aunts won. Christmas at Vian's was nice and pleasant. As soon as Misha and Uncle Thao came, we had to go to Grandmother's house.

We never visited Grandmother on Christmas Eve, always Christmas Day, but since my Norwegian aunt and uncle were in town, my dad wanted to open presents with them, and things were nice. And things are always funny.

Staff Meeting
The third staff meeting was held at ChaCho's and I met the newly promoted intern. And on a scale of "not productive" to "very productive," the meeting scored a "somewha productive." We established that I had no money to fund the paper myself and would appreciate the financial help. The idea of buying "shares" was thrown in there to make things sound more legitimate, but no matter how legitimate it may be, the person who delivers it must have the correct credentials. I don't.

But the new issue is out and I'm taking a break from it and working on the other one. The sexy one. Well, sexier, anyway. That was a plug for thepaperoffline.com. Check it.

End of Semester dinner with AAF + Officer meeting
The Spaghetti Warehouse advertised their lasagna to be 15 layers. That was a lie. But I sat with Craig and Mark and that's always a fun time. And since David Huerta, Asem and I had the most points in the club, we had our meals paid for. I also found out that I was made an officer.

Actually, I already knew because they called me the night before and asked me if I was ok with being another position other than the one I asked and I said sure, whatever. But with the application I turned in, I'm surprised I was made an officer at all.

So the first thing Ibarra did as the new president of AAF was to have a staff meeting in the Galleria during Christmas season. At Chili's. I couldn't eat too much because I had food poisoning from whatever it was that I ate. Perhaps the Chinese food the night before. Anyway, I sat there not contributing much and singing carols to myself as everyone discussed stragery for the new semester.

Hopefully everything works out, guys.

Fourth traffic ticket in the fourth year of college
Yeah, going down the I-10 west feeder, from Eldridge when a cop stands in my lane and tells me to pull in. In hindsight, I should've done what the car in front of me did and just change lanes. Because we were going the same speed.

And apparently, this cop had a speeder ranch because there were already three cars in the process of getting a ticket.

The officer was like, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
And I was like, "55?"
And he was like, "No. 62. Do you know what the speed limit is?"
And I wasl ike, "50?"
And he was like, "No. You're not on the highway, yet. It's 35. There were four signs posted since [wherever]."

So he wrote me a ticket for going 50 in a 35 in a construction zone with workers present. Problem is, there was no construction, let alone workers. Only signs and orange barrels. And if that's the minimum to what constitutes as a construction zone then Houston really does suck.

And apparently, it does.

On the roof of the UC
After walking Daisy to Melcher for her ride, I decided to take a detour and go to the roof of the UC and end the semester with a view. Sounds sort of fruity, but whatever. You're the fruity one for reading this.

I was on the roof when Bryan called to talk about the matters at hand. I was walking around the roof because I was getting chilly. When I looked down, I saw well-dressed man on the phone and we made eye contact. I kept walking and talking on the phone and when I looked back, the man hung up, dialed another number and began talking.

I was walking near enough the edge that I could get a good look down, but far enough that if I tripped sideways, I wouldn't fall off unless I was just an absolute idiot and did cartwheels while tripping.

well, up through the hatch came a big black man standing there waiting and I told Bryan, "I'm about to get in trouble, I'll call you back."

I walked up to the man and he said, "How are you doing?"
I said, "Fine."
"Can you step over here away from the ledge please?"
"Sure."
"Is everything all right?"
"Yeah, couldn't be better."
"Why are you up here?"
"Just wanted to see the sights, think about stuff, girl troubles"

For the record, I had no girl troubles, it was just the first thing I could think of because that's what Bryan had to call me about. And I figured a guy could relate to another guy about "girl troubles."

"How are you?"
"I'm doing fine, I finished my finals today."
"Oh, ok..."
"Yeah, I think I did fine on them."
"So how'd you get up here?"
"Through this hatch."
"And it was open?"
"Well, it wasn't open but it wasn't locked."
"Would you mind climbing back down? Be careful. When you get down there, wait for me."

So I climbed down the ladder that led me up and decided that I had to options. Option 1 was to cut and run. Option 2 was to stay the course and see where this would lead me.

Option 2.
"Watch your eyes, I don't want dust falling into them..."

He got down and asked me to follow him.
"Was there an alert for me?"
"Yeah, there was"

He opened the door to an office that looked familiar and asked me to have a seat. I've been in the office before, it was when I was trying to petition thePaper to be an actual paper to be on campus but never got a reply.

He's off the roof
The man in the suit goes, "Oh, good! He's off the roof. How are you feeling?"
"I feel fine, how about you?"
"I'm good, I'm good. I was scared there for a second."
Then a lady pops out from behind the wall and goes, "Is he off the roof?"
"Yeah, he's off the roof."
"Yeah, he's off."
"Ok, good," and then she goes back behind the wall.
"So you're feeling fine...are you sure?"
"Yeah, I feel great"
"So how'd you get to the roof?"
"Through a series of unlocked doors."
"Through a series of unlocked doors...We should fix that..."
"Ok, I'll do that first thing"
"So what were you doing on the roof?"
"Nothing, just thinking, reflecting."
"Ok, good."
"Was there a high alert out for me or something?"
"Yeah, one of the people who work here was going to his car when he saw someone on the roof and called it in because the thought you were going to jump. If you want to go back to the roof, just let us know, and we'll send you with an escort. We don't like people on the roof during this time of year."
"Oh, well, I'm far from that, I just finished my last final today and I think I did phenominally well."
"Great. Great."
"Well, I'm glad the university's looking out for me."
"Yes, we were just scared."
"Yeah, no, the Cougars won the championship and I rushed the field and things couldn't be better."
"Oh, so you were one of the people they couldn't catch huh..."
"Yeah, well..."
"So you're ok."
"Yes. Thank you."
"Here's my card, if you ever need anything, anything, give me a call. Please."
"Ok, you got it. Thanks."
"And girl trouble? That's the first thing he said when he saw me, he said girl trouble."
"Oh, no, I'd never kill myself over something like that."
"Are you sure."
"Yes."
"Are you sure."
"Yes. Definitely."
"Ok. Have a good winter."
"Thanks, you too. See you around."

This is the abridged version. The unabridged version involved 15 more minutes of confirmation that I wasn't suicidal and my personal thoughts that if I did want to kill myself by jumping off, I would've chose a building higher than two stories. I didn't tell them that, though.

Finals and the C-USA Conference championship
A perk of being a communcations major, art history minor is that you don't have finals. Sure being a communications major is a joke and people laugh, but you don't have finals. Nice! So I was done with school before December even started.

Which is why I paired it up with the C-USA championship of the Houston Cougars and Southern Miss Golden Eagles.

This football season, I only missed a couple home games. I'm not quite sure why or how I got into football. It wasn't the four straight wins, though it was nice. But after the homecoming game, Oklahoma game and championship game, we (we meaning me and whoever was next to me) rushed the field and all was great.

Houston Museum of Natural Science's Mixers Elixirs & IMAX concept project
In Principles of Advertising, the project was to come up with a concept for the Houston Museum of Natural Science's Mixers Elixirs & IMAX. It's hard to advertise something so bland and boring. But our group seven, our group had a pretty good concept. Zahra, Eze, Britney, Anthony, Matthew, Ni and me. Of course our tagline was shot down because girls just don't like to take chances, but we found out that the professor liked it.

"So a dinosaur walks into a bar..."

But the class in general was fun. I was the designated presenter. And I think that was our group's disadvantage.

Exploring + Underground Tunnels
There are places that have yet to be explored. Architecture, Melcher, the radio station. Well this semester, I was made familiar with the Cullen Performance Hall. I climbed up the highest point and looked down to the Student Services Center. Walked the planks fearing that I might fall through the holes. I could've broken a bone and be handicapped up there and no one would know.

I visited the Cynthia Mitchell Woods Center for the Arts and found a piano in a dance room. Anywhere with roof accessibility and a piano is an automatic bonus. I worked the maze of the catwalk in the Cynthia Mitchel Woods Theater and found a place to take a nap.

But the place that takes the cake is the underground tunnel. I've heard of UT's tunnel system. And I've heard rumors of UH's, but I confirmed them when I found my way through the Houston Science Building, the building I used to work at had an opened door. Their doors require a code to get in, but I found this door open. So I went in, went down the stairs and found that the stairwell had a door leading to the basement. So I went down and walked around until I realized that I was walking well beyond the walls of the Houston Science Building.

This is where things started to get interesting. I began running around to speed up the amount of distance covered. With forks in the road, I took the way that was better lit. I opened doors and found out where they led and then closed it and continued on my tunnel trip.

I ended the trip after climbing up a ladder and opening a two metal doors the swung out. When I closed it, I couldn't get back in and I didn't know which building I was in until I walked around and noticed the building was still under construction. It was where I got caught last time, the SEC labs. It was empty. So I went upstairs all the way to the roof and looked to the skyline. It was a good day. Two-in-one, as they say.

I went to the Communcation Computer Lab and Anthony asked me why I was sweating and I told him where I just went. He was interested, but busy. Daisy was interested so I took her.

She asked me, "Are you hiding Alan somewhere? Is he going to pop out behind the trashcan?" And I assured her everything was straight.

So we went through the same path to begin and in the basement, I called out to Alan, "Come on out, Alan, I've got her!"

We had a good laugh. And then embarked. After walking around, Daisy got tired and so we exited through the Satellite exit and went to the "Woods," as she calls it and just talked before heading back to the computer lab.

After a while, she was curious and wanted to go back, so we went back through the Satellite doors because I inconspicuously propped it open and we went on before she got tired again. I walked her back and I went back myself because there were still forks and paths that I didn't go.

I'm also afraid of the dark. And the tubes running all along the tunnel walls kept making noise as I walked by it. But I found out it just covered the science buildings and didn't go out as far as I thought it would. I did, however, find another ladder going down that I'll have to check out when the semester starts. UH needs to learn how to lock their doors. Keep in touch.

HAF Student Conference
Mark told me that he made a good presentation to the student activities board to pay for our trip to the Houston Advertising Federation Conference in Houston. The fee was $85 but we'd be reimbursed most, if not all of it. I said, ok, if I'm getting a refund, then I'll do it.

We didn't get the reimbursement. The night before, I asked Ibarra what the proper attire was and she said, casual. So I went to the Hilton where I had a band banquet before and saw people wearing business casual. I asked Ibarras, I thought you said casual and she said, no I said business casual. So I looked like an idiot wearing denim, a polo shirt with a hoodie.

The group I was paired up with was not a particulary fun group. I found out that there are certain archetypes in a group such as this. There's always the person who rises up and tries to get the power and leadership but doesn't. Then there's the one who actually does rise up and get the leadership. Then there's the partner to the leader. Then the guy who's trying to hook up with the hot girl. The hot girl. The one nobody likes. The know-it-all who really doesn't know-it-all, though sometimes that's also the person nobody likes. I was the the guy who was underdressed, quiet, and quite possibly incompetent.

Our client was a construction software company. It was not an easy client. We sat around a table bouncing ideas around and while they were going over and talking about the same things over and over again, I was busy figuring out archetypes. Then the guy who was trying to hook up with the hot girl asked me, "What do you think, man?" And looked up, "...I'm working on it..." A few people laughed but I went on figuring out the archetypes.

We eventually broke up in groups, the copywriters, art, and media planners. The girl who tried to rise to power and the know-it-all/the girl nobody liked was were art. The girl who rised to power turned out to be cool. There was also another guy in the group.

What happened was that the art people were sort of isolated and essentially became the group of weirdos. The other art guy had a laptop with him so people were warming up to him as he worked.

So in the meeting room, the three of us (two girls and me) were trying to come up with an ad. At first, I didn't have a problem with the girl nobody liked, but then I started to realize why nobody liked her. And it was simply because she was annoying.

She had an idea and tried pitching it to the group but they shot it down. She thought it was because she pitched it, so she asked me to do it. I said, fine, whatever, and pitched it and they were like, that's a good idea!

So in the meeting room, we came up with the concept and started to make the ads. The girl nobody liked and I were making traffic signs ads to present to the board of judges. I was going to draw the final draft and we'd work on the second one.

while I was cutting out the square, she said, "All right, I'm doing that. You think of your own and we'll combine it."

And I stand there looking at her and she goes on obliviously. So I stand there for about a minute before I snap my fingers, sit down and draw up my thing. She was owned. Especially since my ad looked better hand drawn and she drew a stick figure instead of a person with actual volume.

The deadline was six and we were making good time. Our sponsor wanted to print stuff out on nice paper so it'd be more presentable. So I rode with him to Kinko's, since the professional printers were closed and found out that Kinko's didn't have the updated software so they couldn't open any files.

Fantastic.

So he called back to the group and told them to upload it again differently and they said they already deleted the files.

Fantastic.

Rule number one of simple logic is, you don't delete any files that are important. Any file created that day was important. So the sponsor and I drove all the way back, and I had to work diligently and quickly. It was about this time that the group members began to panic because of the deadline.

So the entire group, in three cars, drove to Kinko's as the sponsor, the other art guy and the guy trying to hook up with the hot girl went into Kinko's to print it out. Except it still didn't work and all the girls were panicking. I went into Kinko's to see what was up. The guy who was trying to hook up with the hot girl, all day, was pretending like he was cool as a cucumber and was easy going, but it was apparent that he started to crack and meltdown. So I told them I'd take lead them back to the Hilton, wait for them, and if they don't come back in time with the pie charts, etc., we'd turn in what we have.

So I drove led the second car back to the Hilton and the girls in my car were panicking. I was unsure if I was even going to right way, but I knew that I had to keep my cool so that everyone else in the car could keep their cool. Or at least know that everything's still ok.

Finally, on Hilcroft, a girl asked me, "How are you like this? How are you so able to keep so calm?!"

And I said, "You know how? Because I'm wearing this."

So we got back to the Hilton and we waited for about thirty minutes for the other papers from Kinko's to arrive. And when they did, everyone was just throwing it in together with no order trying to get it in before we were disqualified for time. Then I had to tell them, to relax, they already waited for us this long, we need to calm down and put all this together in an logical order or else we'll look like idiots and not get anything at all.

And so it turned out that the most underdressed guy in the entire conference was perhaps the most levelheaded one.

I could be glorifying myself and lying about how I was one of the smartest people in the room. But let's examine the facts. I was underdressed. And I'm not entirely stupid. Case closed.

After they turned it in, I met up with the Cougars and we sat at the table discussing the horrors of our groups.

HAF Luncheon
I volunteered for the HAF luncheon where I'd sign people in. I wasn't underdressed for this one, but I finished my salad rather quickly and that was sort of weird because when the waiter came back around and offered us more salad, the guy who was in charge of the HAF Conference from the story above, was sitting at my table and asked, "More salad?"

After the luncheon, I went back to school and met up with Daisy, who was also dressed to the nines. We looked pretty sharp together and we walked to the library with her arm around my elbow, and I thought to myself, "This would be a good picture if it weren't a lie."

Laughs for AAFS
In the AAF officer application, I asked to be chair of social events or sports authority. Sports Authority wasn't even a real position. But I organized a basketball intramural team for AAF. When it came time to turn in the intramural application, I didn't have a team name in mind so I just put down the first thing that came to mind. Laughs for AAFs.

We tried our best to get everyone together to practice, Alex, Matthew, Mark, Nan, Craig, David, and me. I found out that the first team we'd be playing would be a team named "Ice Man and the Vikings."

After discussing that with the team, we deduced that they were white, and probably slow in movement. The entire time, we were trying to get all the girls of AAF, who are quite attractive, to come and cheer us on, so that even if we lost, we'd still look good. None of them were able to make it.

So in the pep talk, I told the team, that we need to win this, because if we win this, the girls of AAF would make it the next day's game. Well, turned out that Ice Man and the Vikings were a bunch of black guys who were taller than six feet and were able to dunk upon us. There were white guys, too, and they, too dunked upon us.

Our next goal was to not lose by mercy rule. But we lost by mercy rule. The final score was 19 to 56 or so. The Ice Man's score is debatable.

Racquetball Intramurals
So I also did racquetball intramurals, too. I joined the club by accident earlier in the semester when I asked Raul if he wanted to play and it turned out that he was the president. But I was able to advance into the third round of racquetball due to the other player not showing up.

When my player did show up, it was a guy in the racquetball club who I've played and lost against before. I already knew my fate.

Halloween in Austin
We've been planning it for a month. Jacob, David and I were going to go to Austin for Halloween because things get crazy. So we were trying to think of what to dress up as. David went with what he went as last year, a douche bag, I went with Waldo from the Where's Waldo series and Jacob was a last minute Captain Planet.

The night before we left, I stayed up late and made my Waldo outfit and though it was awfully rough, it had the satisfaction.

We got to Austin and stayed at Atith's place. First night, we went to 6th street and Atith knew all the places to go. We got back and We all crashed for the night. That was Thursday.

Friday, we woke up mid day, did whatever, dressed up, went to the Lambda party. Bone Thungs N Harmony were supposed to perform, but the party was called off due to noise complaints or fire hazards or whatever, and so that was $20 down the drain, so we went to 6th street instead.

Atith went as a Capri Sun. Oscar was Peter Griffin. Eric was a Tootsie Roll for kids. 6th Street was sort of crazy, and everyone was like, "Ohhh...I found Waldo! Let me take a picture with you! Oh! And a Capri SUN! That's amazing!"

I was planning to come back on Saturday, but as the adage goes, "Bros before Hos" so I stayed back for Saturday and had another night of Waldo/Capri Sun adventures.

And Austin was good.

Daisy May O'Donnell
I met a lot of people this year, but the person I spent the most downtime with was Daisy May O'Donnell. I met her when I ate lunch with her, Anthony, Felipe and Kim (male) one day after their test during breaks, we'd go on lunch and end up talking. In the library, at Einstein Bros., the PGH 6th floor stairwell, etc.

Well, one day, I was sitting next to Daisy when she happened to be sitting next to Alan. Alan can be characterized best as a real life George Costanza, except in Seinfeld, George is funny, but in reality, Alan is annoying.

So Alan likes to think he has a lot of play, so he'd strike up conversations with girls, but Daisy knew better. So he'd try to bring up some conversation points and she'd answer them as friendly as possible as I just sat looking on. David Panthagani called and met me up so we'd go to lunch with Daisy. This was David's first encounter of both Daisy and Alan and thought that Alan was our friend, but David, too, knew Alan was annoying by first sight.

So as David, Daisy and I left for lunch, David asked Alan, "Oh, you're not going to lunch, too?"

Alan took this as an invitation and went with us to the Satellite. By the time lunch was over, his annoyance was overbearing and we left him to do his own thing, and since then, he's been the archetype of "that guy you refer to when making fun of someone."

thePaperoffline.com gets over 2,000 hits in a week, 3,000 in a month
After releasing the fourth issue, I made a facebook group and invited everyone on my list and Leila so kindly invited everyone on her list. She's popular. And I told David that if I reached my goal of 5,000, I'd celebrate three nights in a row. 3,014 hits is just the same, right. Right. So I celebrated three nights in a row.

Big Woodrows the first night, Red Star the second night, and the Roxy the third night. The Roxy, by the way, is one of those places where you keep saying, I'm never going there again, but somehow, you always end up going.

I hate the Roxy. Red Star's pretty bad, too. But the Roxy's worse.

Chuck Crixell's class
In my editing class, I signed up for Professor Ryan. Doctor Ryan. Whatever. Ryan. Well he didn't want to teach to protest whatever, so they brought in Crixell, a guy who taught in the summer. First time I saw him, I thought he was the nerdiest guy I had ever seen. Picture Bill from Freaks and Geeks. This professor turned out to be one of the best professor I've ever had. And funniest, too.

Well, people figured this out the first day, and tried to get into his lab, right after the lecture. I already signed up for his lab class. Crixell noticed there were more people in the lab than he expected and said, write a paragraph saying why you should be let into the class and I'll let you in.

People wrote all about "having a job and needing the hours," others wrote about "how much they liked the professor and how funny he is and similar to their humor he is." For fun, I decided to write one and it went something like:

Please. We're running out of time. For the sake of the country, I need to be in this class. You are a true American patriot.
--Jack Bauer

Good times.

Other school stuff
I never read a textbook. Ever. Not until I got into Principles of Advertising. The class was interesting (at first) and the textbook was, too (at first). I actually, for the first time, read the assigned readings because they were thatinteresting. At first.

21st Birthday
I wasn't planning on doing anything, but Caroline, Jessica and Aimee were so adament about me going and Atith and Benny even came all the way down to Houston, though not for me, but they were there. So they decided to go to the Roxy.

The Roxy would be the first club I'd ever go to and the first place I'd ever drink. Joy bought me a raspberry 101 shot, and it wasn't great. By the end of the night, Caroline was drunk, almost everyone was drunk except for me; I was, somehow, the designated driver.

And people kept asking me if I was drunk yet and I was like, "Well, how do you know? I can still say my ABCs backwards." And then I'd do it. And now that's all I do.

Etc.
As far as June goes, I don't remember a thing. The year really went by fast and if this continues, I'll graduate before I'm even ready and I'll be working at an Arby's or something in West Oaks.

I revamped the nathanhoang.com site to be more user-friendly and less of a labyrinth, which was my original intention, I don't know why. The Moosehead's site is underway and needs to be complete before school starts. And especially before March rolls around. I also agreed to do AAF's site pro bono. I don't know why. I need the money. But it's for a semi-good cause, so I'll need to finish that before school starts, as well.

I do suppose that I could update more often than six months at at time, but school, procrastinating from school and thePaper just ate up a lot of time.

And also episodes of Prison Break, 24, Mythbusters, and the borrowed episodes of Scrubs, My Name is Earl, etc.

So far, 2007 hasn't been looking good with the loss of $2, basketball to the groin and the court date on Wednesday, but who knows. Bad luck can't go on forever. It's not how the universe operates. And unless someone on my mom's side of the family broke a mirror, then that'll mean we only have a couple more years left to go until all this is over. Bad luck, that is.

I also cut my hair.

have a good new year

11:57pm: the royal catch up session

the reason why I've lost weeks of memories and not logged anything is because of thePaperoffline. So when I grow up, grow old, there'll be a hole in my memories of summer because of some stupid e-zine. And please don't call it an e-zine. That's just hurtful.

Event by Event recap (not in chronological order):

Painball
Atith finally got the paintball plan together and after so many people backing out, I figured I should be there for my friends. Which explains why I woke up at the time we were supposed to leave. And what good friends that made me drive just because I was late.

So it was a little rainy, but the rain only enhanced my athletic abilities. Like Gatorade. But more frequent. And more potent. So anyway, Jacob got shot in the chin, David in the knee and our masks kept fogging up on us. Meanwhile, on the otherside of the field, the kids who haven't even reached puberty yet, were shooting their automatics at us with masks that never fogged. In fact, they deemed our group the group that sucked and thought they'd boss us around. One kid said, "You got up the straight path and create a diversion, we'll go around down the creek." And I said, "Ummm..don't think so.." and the David, Indra, Oscar, Jeremy and I went our own way and created our own diversion that wasn't a death trap with our semiautomatics.

The entire time, I was worried about getting shot in the groin, so when I ran for cover, I covered my crotch with one hand while shooting with the other. But we got outflanked and those kids, as Patrick so eloquently put it, "shit out paintballs". So they just swept the field with their automatic paintballs and we conserved our and shot with finesse. Except our guns didn't shoot straight, so...that didn't work out too well all the time.

At the end of the day, we were all tired and I was the only one who didn't get shot in the back. Or on my head. And last I checked, neither did Jack Bauer.

basketball and discovering how I'm more than just Mutombo
Now that I sort of know the rules of dribbling/walking of basketball, I am unstoppable. I just now need to apply it. We played 5 v 5 once we won one, lost one. But I reached my goal of a triple single, so in my head, I won the entire night. Because I'm also Nash. And Vince Young. And Reggie Bush. And Wayne Gretzsky. And Tiger Woods. And that guy who plays tennis.

Trifecta!!!
Jacob planned a day of sports and sometime between when he planned it and the day it happened, we had a fued. It may have been that whole "neigh" thing. I don't know. Anyway, the sports to play were soccer, wiffle ball and football.

The teams were: David, Atith, Caroline and me (Gators) and Jacob, Anthony, Pete and Aimee (Elites). Eric came later to sub for the Elites while the Gators toughed it out. So instead of sudden death soccer like we had planned, we decided to do time instead.

Elites scored the first goal. And then Eric subbed in. Eric was the designated "Time Keeper" and when Atith kicked in the tie goal, Eric said time had been up. So it was clear that the Elites cheated. But Jacob, being the sportsman that he is, didn't admit it and it ended up to be a kickoff for tie breaker. It is unfortunate, however, that the goals were small and Jacob was half the size of the goal. So of course he blocked my kick and the Gators lost the event.

Next was Wiffle Ball to wind down from the soccer. The teams broke up again because Oscar, Indra and Dillon came, so Gators acquired Eric and Dillon while the Elites took the other two. We were first up to bat and Jacob the pitcher struck out two hitters in a row. I was next to bat and Jacob got cocky and decided to intentionally hit me with the ball to walk me. And that's when everything went downhill. Because we went on to score 7 runs. It was the bottom of the inning and they scored 3. Final score was 9-5, Gators. Might I add, their team cheated again when Aimee's cleavage caught the ball instead of her arms giving us an out. But my amazing sliding techniques gave us a lead that we could've spared.

Finally, Flag football. Same teams, Gators v. Elites. Jacob, fuming from his embarrassing wiffle loss wanted to go against me. But he forgot one thing. I am Nathan Hoang. The person who scored 4 of the winning touchdowns giving the Gators a 4-2 win. Elites may argue that our last touchdown was "dirty", but as Oscar, an Elite said, it is the defense's job to be ready. And they were not.

So I was the self-proclaimed MVP that day.

The Art Museum
What a cheap day. We ate breakfast at Ikea, 99 cents a plate. So I got two and my brother got two and Calvin got two. And if those eggs are carcinogenic, then give me cancer, baby, because those eggs are delicious.

Then we went to UH's Blaffer Gallery for their free showing of a Vietnamese guy's Psychonaut. Which was good. And the fact that he's Vietnamese has absolutely nothing to do with anything besides the fact that Mom told me that he is. As though his name didn't tip me off. And the gallery's curators are creepy. Always following you as if you're going to touch or break something.

Anyway, we made our way to the Fine Arts Museum, on a Thursday, which meant free ticket day, went in the tunnels, went back up, and got free samples of Starbuck's Banana Coconut Frappuchino, and then continued on with the exhibit. And the day was good. Except I later found that we missed the main exhibit which was, as Mom said, special.

Going out at night
Someone had the bright idea to go to some coffee shops around Montrose late at night. So we went to Katz's then Agora only to be treated poorly, then went home. Jacob then decided to have a "thePaperoffline" meeting aka meet up and do nothing but play cards while Jacob jots down ideas that pop up from conversations, like that one time when we talked about time traveling. Anyway, that happened once. And though nothing big really happens, it's always fun. Or not fun. And very productive.

Body Worlds 3
Indra's been wanting to go to the exhibit for a while so Atith, Jacob, David, Benny and I decided to go see Body Worlds without that mangy bastard.

The exhibit was cool with the cadavers and everything, but the main body was a chicka at the exhibit walking around wanting to be noticed. And she was. By us. Just like how she wanted it.

So the science was good, and it's always good to learn new things, like the anatomy of a Unicorn. How Majestic those creatures are!

Driving Range with Eric Le
After selling out Eric the entire summer, I finally made it out to his driving range plans the day before he left for Minnesota. And coincedentally, I also tore skin off my middle finger and pushed skin on my ring and index. Thanks, Eric.

He also had these special tees for handicapped people who can't swing right. The tee consists of long spike to go into the ground and tall bristles for the ball to rest on. So I did a good job of using Newton's first law of motion (or second..whatev), and kept hitting the tee out into the field while the ball just dropped to the ground. And I'd have to run covering my crotch and head to go retrieve it because it was expensive. Very much like paintball. In both aspects.

Grades
After reluctantly checking my grades, I've decided to have a "I passed all my classes again" party.

That's all.

Oh yes, and the centerspread, the major shift about a quarters way through happens because after I finished the 5th season of 24, I got angry. So...

And also, Undeclared is also on my list of best tv shows ever.

have ag oooday

11:57pm: the first day of summer session

i've found out that stupidity has no boundaries. Because for whatever reason, despite dr.Steiger telling the class that if a single cell phone goes off, she won't curve the exams, even on vibrate, she won't curve the exam. And not only does a cell phone go off, the person doesn't even bother to silence it. Even after the THIRD OR FOURTH TIME it goes off. Then another cell phone goes off and dr.Stieger finally lays her foot down and says this is our last chance before she takes the bonuses away. Yet the idiot decides that they're just going to pretend it's not their cell phone, and just lets the ringtone keep on going. What an idiot. She just told you you had one last chance you stupid idiot.

So this prompts girls with attitudes around the class to be a heroine and say "Turn off your cell phones" with curses inserted in. Either way, biology students are idiots. You can have a 4.0 gpa and be in all the honor societies, but if you don't have common sense, you're an idiot. And that's what those biology kids are. Not smart.

And on my trip to high school anatomy, I saw idiots in the making. I also taught Ms. Fleming about the Cleveland Steamroller. Which was a little awkward. And I taught Timmy the Pirate. I didn't show him. Nor Ms.Fleming. You sicko.

Anyway, I woke up today to a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, then a trip to the (comic) book store with my brother, back home, and after a little rest, my brother and I played basketball where I learned that I'm a better palmer than shooter, dribbler, rebounder, driver, etc.

thePaper is on it's way to being half way done and so's my dream of becoming a good basketball player.

have agooday

11:57pm: wednesday to tuesday (spanish to biology) session

it seems to me that my hair is changing in the opposite direction that it grew out from. First was the fad, then the awkward stage where the hair is neither long nor short but shaggy, then to the long hipster (hippy) length, then to the shorter, then a little shorter than a hippy's, then back to the shaggy. If this trend continues, maybe I'll end up with a chili bowl again. Because chili bowls are HOT. Ha ha. Get it? Hot? Chili?

Wednesday (Last week) (Spanish)
I met up with Raj at the library and we studied our habers and conjugations. After a couple to a few hours of spanish, we went to the testing site and met up with some of the classmates. It's a universal fact that a horrible teacher will unite the students and create friendships. Of the 11 students left of the original 33, we all didn't like the teacher. Except Raj. He liked her when she was writing on the chalkboard. We all discussed how we didn't like her, as if we could do anything about it. And we couldn't do anything about it so we took the exam.

Raj and I sat with Heather and Mark from Torres' class two semesters ago and the other Mark sat with us and Heather made two observations that if Mexicans can protest, so can Spanish students. And it's also fun to see who was able to make it this far into Spanish with all the Spanish Department ineptness.

I later found out in the week that I passed the course, as I would have liked it, and though I wanted to talk to the director to see if I could get a higher grade, I was too lazy and concluded that not much else can be done.

Thursday
Rest is always necessary after a big final like Spanish. And even for the little finals, too.

Friday (Political Science)
I decided to visit Ms.Fleming, my high school anatomy teacher to see how she was doing and to ask her a question about biology exam related manner. But when I got there, I figured the biology wasn't important and hung out instead. It seems like the 06 anatomy class is dominated by Asians, unilke the awesome class of 03 where it was diverse and all Melting Pot like. Not an Asian Teriyaki Tangerine Salad. I don't know what I'm saying.

Before the exam, I decided to explore around the library to find a good study area. I found the room where they tape lectures and studied in there for a while before being distracted by the film equipment. I'm one who generally respects other people's property, but I saw all these buttons, cranks and levers and switches. Well eventually, a man came in to see why the lights were on, saw me, and then kicked me out.

So I explored elsewhere I found a treasure cave. Figuratively, of course.

This would be my fourth time ever seeing the professor. I heard he had interesting lectures and I always wanted to go to one, but that never worked out. Oh well. I studied what I could and ended up with another passing grade. After the exam, I bought flags for the TRIFECTA and then went to Joy's house where we then went to Happy Hour, ultimate frisbee, Taboo, and a short round of Catchphrase.

I nearly hit a black man's Acura with a frisbee. But I'm pretty quick. At pointing fingers.

Saturday
The original plan, as it always is, was to study from Friday until Tuesday for the Biology exam. I didn't start heavily until Sunday. which left Saturday with time to celebrate having one final left for the third college year.

Sunday
We went to my aunt's house where I studied with Vietnamese music in the background. Not by choice.

Monday
Studying wih powerpoint.

Tuesday (Today) (Biology)
I woke up at seven, studied in the library, took the exam, took a bit out of the exam, literally, of course, got reamed by the exam, figuratively, of course, turned it in, returned the books that I won in the golden ticket scholarship, bought lunch, watched a movie, and slept until 9.

Who knows. But summer's here and I can finally work on thepaper, my parent's website, and watch those episodes and movies I've been wanting to watch. And stuff. Haha, you still have finals to take. Loser.

have agooday

11:57pm: yesterday was monday session

Monday
i was extremely tired yesterday and took two seperate naps despite the fact that I woke up at noon or one and took the nap at four. I may have studied a little, I don't know, but I did watch Gerhard Reinke's Wanderlust somewhere in between. I don't even remember what happened yesterday besides dinner.

Tuesday
Which is a good explanation of why I forgot to take out the trash. And now we're screwed because we're going to have to wait an entire week for the trash to come. Unless I dump our trash in the neighbor's bin. Problem solved.

After waking up three times, I woke up the fourth time realizing that I just stood up Raj at the library so I drove to school as quickly as I could and when I finally parked, Raj called and said work just called him in.

So a little mad that I drove to school, I decided to make the most of the time there. I printed out the biology study sheets and explored. I wanted to find the quickest way out to the UC without having to go around the entire building. I was up on the eighth floor when David called and asked what I was doing and I told him and he said, "Why don't you just study?..." The thought of studying at school had never occured to me. Instead, I was just trying to get into restricted areas.

So I took David's advice to heart. I decided to go back home, stop by the bank, watch 24 and Prison Break, and take a nap. And I did just that.

When I woke up, it was time for the pre-Grand Opening Dinner of Kim Son, so while waiting for them to call our name, I explored around and concluded that the building was infiltratable and perfect for anyone to crash a wedding. They also had roof access in the men's bathroom.

When I got home, I ended up studying a little, but considering that the final is tomorrow, I'll have to study TURBO!!!!! From now on.

hav a gooday

11:57pm: how bad things happened yet the days were still enjoyable session

my back aches because I slept on a recliner thinking it'd be like a stiff hammock. And it is a stiff hammock. If the hammack was broken.

Saturday
It's embarrassing to defecate at the office or school. I try to avoid it, but sometimes, it just happens. So at the office, I had to use the restroom and then when I flushed it, I noticed that I clogged it. So after a couple more unsuccessful flushes, I left to go find a plunger and came back with nothing. And I can't ask for a plunger because then, not only will I reveal that I just deficated at the office, I'll let my coworkers know that I done bad. So I went for plan B.

I remember in high school health class, we watched a tv movie about some kid wanting to bang some girl but she had AIDS and the guy was too lazy to look for someone who didn't have AIDS so he said, why don't we use to layers...just in case. So I put on the latex glove, put another glove on top of that glove, and used the trashbag over the two gloves. On the left hand, I only wore one glove because blood circulation was no good.

So I reached in with three layers of protection and unclogged the 20th century toilet 16th century style. It was disgusting, of course. No question. But at least it was my own feces.

Unlike the kid who vomited. Multiple times. Or the other kid. That vomited. Multiple times.

After work, I packed, and Mom and Dad came home and we left for Galveston.

When we got there, people were on the pier behind the borrowed beach house and we sat there pretending like we knew how to fish, when my experience with fishing went as far as that one game I used to have and Brad Pitt's movie, A River Runs Through It. It got dark and we went inside, watched a Jackie Chan movie, ate dinner, and went back outside to pretend to fish some more. As I was tying the hook onto the wire, I stuck myself in the part of the middle finger where I get blisters playing racquetball.

When it got really dark, we went back inside and the women went to bed while the men stayed awake and gambled. I fell asleep around 1:30 before waking up to my own fart.

Sunday
My brother woke me up and told me to wake up to go see the sunrise. And I went back to sleep because I told myself that I woke up 5:30 and I saw sunrises twice a week. Mom says it's not the same thing because of the setting, but I can easily imagine 59 to be the GUlf of Mexico. Or I could record a sunset and watch it backwards. Problem solved.

I was also told that I farted in my sleep five times while sleeping. Females may not find that tidbit funny, but that's because they're females.

We went to the beach where we were kicking around a ball before I popped it with a kick. So we brought out the small nerf ball until that wore out and then we dug a hole and burried Gunther, tossed the nerf around and then we went home, played cards, watch the Lakers cheat, eat, shoot the guns, pack stuff up and drove back home.

School isn't over yet, but that doesn't change the fact that it still sucks.

ahve agooday

11:57pm: the last day of class was not exciting session

the last day of class was not exciting. Exept for my amazing 10 point comeback in racquetball against Jacob where I beat him 15-14. And my lateral scoop behind and under shot against Joseph. That was pretty amazing. And the girl who sat behind me in the computer lab. She wasn't amazing, wasn't great either, but looked like an Ancient Egyptian statue. But if she really was a statue, I'd probably sell her for lots of money and that, to me, would be amazing.

Thursday
For the first time in a long time, I didn't wake up on time at 5:30. I woke up at 6:30 and it felt great. I was about to late to the Spanish quiz so I ran like Speedy Gonzalez so I wouldn't miss the listening part because she doesn't wait for people she just does it. So when I got there, she did the listening part last. And then we did presentations, handed back the composition and finished off with teacher evaluations.

Throughout the entire semester, almost the entire class has been looking forward towards this point where they can just tear her up. But Raj put in the comments of why he would(n't) recommend the teacher would be "cuz she has a nice ass".

I went with Sloan to her office and I asked her why I didn't do well on my composition and she gave me an answer that would make sense if you didn't have a heart of feelings, so I just ate it and went to Biology where I sat next to a guy who was evaluting Dr.Steiger and I fell asleep while doing my crossword. But woke up in time to still be able to learn stuff.

After sitting in the computer lab half working on thePaper, I met up with David to meet up with Jacob and Joseph. And the rest is history.

Friday
I woke up at 12, went to run errands with my brother, took shots at a can, watched Police Story with Long, went to dinner with my parents, and went to Joseph's to play cards and Mario Strikers, where the game turned into a shoving contest instead of a soccer match.

This could be elaborated but that'd be a disservice to you and me.

have a good day

11:57pm: triathalon and a finished crossword session

for the first time this semester, I was able to wake up earlier than the test. I see that as not only remarkable, but a road of progress as well. Unfortunately, summer time will ruin that progress and everything will start all over in the fall.

But the point is, I woke up early enough to get some donut holes, go back home to get my watch, and get to school to do the crossword and luckily sit by three girls who happened to be taking the same online test in the library.

After I finished the test, I went to the other side of the library to work on the essays and definitions. And while juggling that, I also tried to squeeze in political science. I decided that it'd be best if I just read the notes, get the jist of the essays and wing it.

Emus have wings. But they don't fly. Neither do ostriches. But at least with ostriches, they bury their head in the sand. Which is similar to a blacklighted aid. Actually, it has nothing in common. I don't even know why I said that.

I reparked the car, and studied for the last leg of the day. I felt myself falling asleep so I went to the class where I told myself I'd go to one of his lectures one day because I hear they're pretty good, but as it turned out, I've only been to class three times, and all three times, we've had a test.

But the best news to come out of today is that I met my semester quota of a completed crossword puzzle and I could fail my last two tests, but it'll all be worth it because I finished the crossword.

Spanish tomorrow shouldn't be too bad, but I'm certain it'll be terrible. I almost hit a Mexican yesterday when he was crossing the street on his bike and I was about to make a right turn. And he looks at me as though I was suppose to know he was going to make his way across the street after sitting there on the sidewalk for minutes when he had every opportunity to go. But he's Mexican. So I guess I should've guessed he would've tried sneaking to the other side...of the street.

have agooday

11:57pm: tuesday that feels like wednesday session

it's Tuesday already? And the tests are tomorrow? Geez.

I got to school at a decent hour to work on my Spanish composition before writing it down, and when it came time to write the real composition, it was somewhat easier. But if I still make a whole lot of mistakes then maybe it was of no use? Maybe?

No matter, it was just a test run, anyway, because the bigger plan is set for tomorrow.

Went to biology where I stayed awake throughout the class again, and while the professor was lecturing, all I could think about was why couldn't I have stayed awake earlier in the semester when the material was harder and less interesting and more crucial. And that was over and I went home.

My brother came home and we shot guns for a while before he left and I watched 24 and Prison Break, something I usually don't do before a test, but you know, whatever. After thursday and three days of finals, this semester will finally be over forever, amen.

havea g ooday

11:57pm: bb session

i woke up early enough today to actually work on the definitions for the comm1302 test. though that only leaves TEN essays left to outline. And on top of that, the action reviews where students submit their sample essays and definitions have barely any students sending in their submissions and I rely on those to outline my essays. And I find it to be most unfortunate that I've begun slacking right now. At the last leg. When it is most crucial.

But on to more important things, my brother came home and we went to Acadamy to buy a bb rifle. After the disappointment from yesterday when the rifle was no good, we decided to return that one due to malfunction and poor assembly (because it was the floor model) and bought this other one where we tested it out in the backyard.

My brother and I sat there, shooting at a 7up can. And I must admit, though it was not a real gun, I found myself to be trigger happy. And like the Venus fly trap, I plan to train this rifle to not only take down aluminum cans, but also power lines, tires, unicorns, sewer rats, homeless, until the rifle gets to the point where all the ducks are taken down and if that dog pops up over the grass crying, I can butt him in the face. Because the dog needs to learn it's place.

After dinner at LUcky Village, we came home and I held on to the rifle which left no room for outlining the TEN ESSAYS. In fact, I decided to hold comm1302, 2300 and pols1362 for tomorrow and work on the Spanish composition tonight. But the only thing I ended up writing down was "Querido Primo, Que paso? Como es tu mama?" So looks like Span2302 will be done tomorrow morning, too.

have ag ooday

11:57pm: sleep is great session

if they had a tv show based on me, like The Truman Show, it would be cancelled within the first eleven hours because all people would do is watch me sleep. Unless viewers are into that sort of stuff. Then maybe. Sicko.

I woke up four times to address the alarm before waking up the fifth time and re-realizing that I missed church. My brother came home and we ate lunch, bought an air rifle, went to church, returned the air rifle, came back home, and went to the aunt's house before coming back home.

I found out today that people are already beginning to study for their comm1302 test since a long time ago and I haven't started yet. Their school of thought is, since they did well on their first exam, they should be repeating their habits to yield the same result. My school of thought is, since I did well on the first exam, I have to test the limits to see when I stop doing well so I can adjust myself.

All it takes is death to realize how much time you wasted worrying about a class, so it's effecient to not worry and do what you have to do to get by while enjoying life. And for me, enjoying life means sleeping.

have ag ooday

11:57pm: 12-22 session

that's a lot of days. Enough to take a vacation in. Anyway, a lot of things happened since the twelth and I don't really remember. So looks like there's another hole in my life when I get Alzheimers when I'm older and that puzzle piece will never be found.

Wednesday, April 12
It's Wednesday so I'm sure I didn't go to school, so what else could've possibly happened? Study? Pfffft. Please.

Thursday, April 13
I remember beginning to pick up a cold, so I didn't get to start the paper for Comm1302 like I planned, but I did take a Spanish quiz, which I found later the next week I didn't do too well in, but on contrastly, I did muy bueno on my presentation about food. So the lesson I learned was that if you're flashy enough with a good PowerPoint with a little humor, even the tightest Spanish teacher will forget that you can't speak Spanish.

Friday, April 14
Good Friday's Good Friday. I had a couple sentences out of a 1500 word essay by now.

Saturday, April 15
I thought more about the 1500 word essay without taking any real action. Mainly because it was the Easter vigil and a lot more things are more important than communication theory. Like the Ressurection of Jesus Christ. And the correct spelling of Resurrection.

Sunday, April 16
We went to our Aunt's house for crawfish. I also did about 300-400 words on the essay. And I also reflected on how liberal I was with my Lenten sacrifice of useless spending. Since I gave myself leeway for food, I took advantage of that.

Monday, April 17
So my 4 day step plan to write the 1500 word essay happened to not work out mainly because I was sick or because that's just how I am. Either way, about half of the stuff I wrote the day before were taken out and fixed, and I finished 1500 words all the same. The professor once said, 1500 words isn't a lot, especially if you know what you're talking about. And I did know exactly what I was talking about. Except it had absolutely nothing to do with communication research and more to do with Disney movies used as a comparison. How well did I do on the essay? Who knows, maybe my theory of blinding humor masked the fact that I know absolutely nothing about communication research. Maybe.

Tuesday, April 18
Tuesday's a blur. Class was cancelled, I worked on thePaper, the usual stuff. Ahh yes, and for the first time all semester, I finally beat David in racquetball. 15-14.

Wednesday, April 19
Right about now, 3 months ago, I would've prepared for the Comm1302 test. But after two miracles, one tends to believe that they're indestructable, so..

Thursday, April 20
BURGERFEST! It's BURGERFEST. Nothing else that happens in the day matters, because BURGERFEST happened. I met up with Alida, and we went to get a burger and I met her two friends and then they left to do their HRM stuff while I stuck around and ate more with Jad. BURGERFEST, BABY!!!

Friday, April 21
Yesterday was 420. But more importantly, yesterday was National High Five day. Neither of those worked out for me. Jacob, Jeremy and I went to watch The Sentinel, which had absolutely had nothing to do with CTU, even though Jack Bauer was there. But Jack Bauer was working for something called the PID, whatever that is, so he's probably undercover or switching jobs or something. I dont' know, I'm not the president. Then after that came American Dreamz where Mandy Moore taught me that she is, in fact, a dirty untrustworthy [female lady]. And it's not that the movie wasn't entertaining, because it was, but if I had wanted a political message, I would've listened to the radio or write for the Daily Cougar. And I don't write for the Daily Cougar. So I don't want a political message. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about it because Hollywood and Jews are more powerful than I am. Fortunately, they're not getting my money.

AMERICA!!!!! BURGERFEST!!!!!

Saturday, Today, April 22
After work and not working, and a hilarious session of Saturday night games, I'm here, recapping my past ten days, living in the past. On Wednesday, I have three tests, on Thursday, I probably have a quiz, I don't know, maybe, and on Tuesday, I have an in class paper to write, I don't know how many finals I have, nor do I know when they would be. Does this bother me at all? It's a possibility. But does it bother me that the Mythbusters came to an ambiguous/ambivalent answer to "are bullets fired up dangerous"? Yes. Of course it does. They've never had a "Confirmed", "Busted", and "Plausible" conclusion before, and quite frankly, that disturbs me. It shakes me up.

Others
So the abbreviation for an injection at work are the letters, I, N and J. So whenever the doctor says, I need an INJ, it happens. So I was in the sterilization room and a coworker asks me if the doctor's done and I said, no, INJ. And she looks and me and says, "what?" and I go "INJ" and she goes, "what?" and I go "INJ" and she goes "oh...ok..." And then a little later she goes, "OOH, INJ, I thought you said 'I ain't gay'".

And finally, after Easter, I bought a Venus fly trap because I always wanted one since my old one died when I left it out in the sun. And that one Venus fly trap was special to me because Mom bought it for me at Kroger after I came back from the doctor telling me I had asthma. But because I'm a genius, I overcame the asthma, but never my love for Venus fly traps.

The point is, I plan on training this fly trapper, starting off with the totally trite insects and working my way to lunch meat, to live small mammals, like rats and rabbits, up until I'm able to feed it matchbooks and maybe some vodka so that it can spit out fireballs upon people who look really suspicious with their dark moustache who come up to the door.

have a good week.

11:57pm: two important lessons session

i woke up late today and I'm not sure whether it was because I didn't care or because I was tired. I don't know. Who really does, anyway? I was planning on going over the presentation in traffic, but again, I didn't care or I was tired.

When I got to class, I found out there were two other presenters besides me, and Sloan was telling Wes he'd have to go first. But when the teacher got there, she called me up to go first. First of all, when you go first, you have no one to be compared to and the teacher may be a little more laxed. If you go after someone who was really good, then you'll look really bad and vice versa. And if you go last, you'll be fresh in the teacher's mind.

So I hooked up the jump drive to the computer but it wouldn't read and I was worried because the powerpoint was the thing that would distract the teacher from realizing that I can't speak Spanish. So she said, if it doesn't work in two minutes, you'll just have to do without it.

So with my Easter miracle, it read and I made my presentation. I'm not sure how poorly I did, but being up there presenting reminded me of how much I miss standing up before a crowd saying something making them laugh. At me or with me. Who really knows, anyway.

The teacher then gave back our midterms and composition and I dragged my legs to biology.

So this is the first time in the history of the Spring semester 2006 that only slept less than a minute in class without the aid of a free energy drink. It was hard. But the topic was actually interesting and nothing about DNA or molecular biology. And that's when I realized I may be in the wrong field.

So I called up Mark after class, had a brief discussion about school, and felt better about the day, as a whole.

After studying in the library until David came over, we went to the financial office because we both had academic stops for what the university calls, "financial delinquicy". So I explained to the guy behind the glass that my first bill was zero dollars, then they sent me another bill for money and I paid it, then they sent me another bill for 15 more dollars and that I owe them 25 dollars for the installment charge and late fee. He told me something but I didn't cave and kept on going until he understood exactly what I meant and told me it'd be taken care of.

And that's how I stuck it to Shasta.

David and I drove around Montrose looking for a place to eat before finding some Mexican place where I had tamales and David had a chimichanga.

The tamales made running 3/4 a mile unpleasant and I was yelling out "Tamales!" and "no more Mexican!" while running above the indoor soccer field. All on accident, of course, but when you're hurting, there's no real explanation. Nor is there ever a real explanation for love. Or miracles.

Then I came home, didn't study, and played Tetris with my brother and barely thought about the 1500 word essay due on Tuesday. 1500 words means that I just need four days, 500 each day and the last day for final touches. That's how these things work.

have ag ooday

11:57pm: icons and stones overload session

i've been planning for today for quite some time, lying in bed, grinning, curled up in a little ball like a perverted boy.

So time finally came, I called Jacob, got David's voicemail, got cashback at the nearest Walgreens and went to the mall. Jacob was running a little late so I went on inside to talk to Betty, the lady behind the camera. She asked if I wanted to take a picture with the Easter Bunny and I gave her my business proposal. She gave me her terms, and we reached an agreement.

I went back to the car and when Jacob came, I got dressed. Putting on the outfit was a lot harder under the sun in a Camry than it was in my room at night. I had to dodge the sight of little kids as to not confuse them or scare them or have them lose faith in magic.

But as I was putting on the wig, I saw a mom with her two kids walking out of Linens-N-Things and I quickly ducked for cover. It was, however, too late I could hear the mom go, "Look! There's **************! ...But why is he hiding in his car?" So I popped out and said what I had to say and the two kids and they looked baffled and scared. Frightened. I guess they've never seen one before?

So Jacob, the photographer, and I made our way through Linens-N-Things and it seemed like their staff thought we were just a couple of college kids looking to make it on break.com, but they had no idea this was strictly business.

So the very cooperative Betty looked as the mightyly uncomfortable Easter Bunny sat next to the handsomely awkward *************** while Jacob took pictures. I asked the Bunny to pose, but she was rather shy or didn't hear or was too puzzled to understand what exactly was going on. So we ended up with five pictures and an entry full of memories!!!

Not really. That last part's a lie.

I came back home, and Mom asked me if I wanted to go with her and Dad to lunch, so I agreed, but had no idea that going to lunch would also mean going to Home Depot to buy stones and laying them down on the back lawn. And when Dad realized we were short some stones, we went out and bought some more. Came back, laid them down, and realized we needed a few more, so we went back, bought some more, and laid the rest down.

So now my back aches and my Spanish presentation is tomorrow. My plan is to cover up the fact that I can't speak Spanish with the opinion that the presentation is going to be blindingly humorous. Or that the Spanish teacher will give me a B for effort. Even a C would do.



have a gooday

11:57pm: the other side of the leaf revisited session

i am clearly running out of things to name the entries. But nevertheless:

Saturday
The doctor and I were working on a patient with one of the assistants holding the patient's head still. And just as we were finishing up, after minutes of struggling in the papoose, the girl finally vomits just as we're done. It's all water and didn't get me. It's good. She does it again. All water, doesn't hit me. But not all good, because some of it got into the assistant's latex glove. Which is rather disgusting. Then she decides to go again. A third time. All water with bits of food. I jumped back for the third time and it got my knee. Could be worse, I guess. Then she goes again, a fourth time, same deal except it didn't land on me. I think. Nobody really knows. But the path of travel for the vomit was straight up or tilted towards me. And if it was straight up, it could've went into anybody's hair.

Which is why I quickly showered right when I came home. After I got a 4 berry sundae. And after I went to West Oaks to check out the Easter Bunny.

Sunday
I finally properly finished my powerpoint presentation for Spanish after Mom told me I was wasting time at school and not graduating in four years as tradition would have it. I tried to explain that four years isn't the norm anymore, but she told me not to bring my friends into the discussion. I failed to mention, however, that Van Wilder took seven years and did better than any of us could have imagined.

An hour after Mom lectured, she said, You should take a photography course. I'd allow you to take a photography course.

And then we watched the Gospel of Judas special on the National Geographic Channel.

have ag ooday

11:57pm: 27 hours of depression session

i said I wasn't planning on staying awake all night because it'd be pointless, but when you sleep a lot of hours of sleep and wake up at 8 pm, it's hard to continue the rest of the night with more hours of sleep.

So instead of watching episodes of 24 and prison break like I had thought I would, I occupied my time with articles on the internet and paragraphs in the biology book.

After paying for breakfast in change and eating it at red lights, I got to school and worked on the crossword. I knew I should've prepared for the Spanish composition but wouldn't that be cheating? A little? Yeah, I don't know either, that's why I worked on the crossword instead.

And then after I finished the in-class composition, that's when I realized I should've dropped the course when I still had the chance.

And speaking of dropping courses when I still had the chance, I took the biology with midlevel confidence and got a midlevel grade. Is it fair? Perhaps, considering how I studied less for the communcation and political science test and made up quotes and names on the essay test yet still get a phenomical grade. In fact, I think even I try to make it painfully obvious that I have no clue what I'm writing about, the t.a.'s will still give me an A. Just because communications and I are meant to be.

I think I'm going to make some fortune cookies and slip them in when we're eating a Chinese restaurant and my fortune will say, "You should be an advertiser and quit dreaming of becoming a doctor".

So after that heartbreak, I went to go pay my parking tickets where I learned for the first time in my life, that school parking tickets double every 21 days they're not paid. So I racked up a good bill. So everything I said before about UH and I being square on debt, I was completely wrong. Because UH owes me.

So I spent the first hour or so, while watching the DVD class thinking about how UH would pay me back. Then David met up with me and we were about to go to Montrose for lunch before we drived by the Pizza Hut on campus and saw credit card applications. So I u-turned, fill out a credit card form and got a free medium pizza. Thing were looking on the up and up again.

Then we went to the gym, I ran 3.5 laps, walked .5 laps and sprinted for two .5 laps. Then played two games of racquetball with an interruption and so on and so on.

By the time I got home and cleaned up, it was eight o'clock and I hadn't slept in 24 hours.

But that didn't stop my brother from having us, as a family watch King Kong. A three hour movie. Now I'm not saying the movie's bad, but did it really have to be three hours long. I'm sure there were a lot of scenes not necessary in the movie like when the aboriginies were going in a trance. Anyway, I didn't get to sleeping until 2 am. Which is more than what Jack Bauer can say.

Today
I woke up at 10, watched the episodes of 24, Prison Break and Heist and then after dilly dallying around for a little while longer with no real progress on the powerpoint for the Spanish oral presentation, I fell asleep at 4 and woke up at nine.

For dinner, it was either beef flavored ramen noodles or shrimp. I don't know how the Church views MSG and meat flavored powder, so I went with the shrimp while watching the D41. If you have to ask what the D41 is, then you can't afford it.

And I've also been having weird dreams.

Yeah, so, I don't know why you'd read all that for.

have a dy

11:57pm: biology session

i set the alarm for 6:30, 7:00, 8:00 and 10:00, yet I kept hitting the snooze button until it was 1:30 pm. So looks like my plan of waking up early to soak in the biology didn't happen.

I studied a little and left to go get water and an oil change and came back to study more.

It wasn't until after my four hour nap from 4:00-8:00 that I realized the edition of the book I was studying didn't correspond with the edition that the professor uses. So the chapter the she said was going to be most heavily tested on the chapter was the one I didn't read. And I'd go back and read it, but that'd mean I'd have to actually go back and read it.

Tomorrow's also the in class composition for Spanish. It's fortunate that the professor gave us the theme for the composition, otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten the premise of what we were suppose to write about. I was going to prewrite the essay first, but all my plans were shifted four hours because of the nap, and the only thing I could do was googleLanguage the instructions.

And finally, I was planning to pull the first all-nighter for the semester until I realized it'd just wind up with me watching Prison Break, 24, Waiting, and other stuff with some studying on the side.

have agooday

11:57pm: super tuesday session

i rewarded myself of a job well done yesterday with an extra hour of sleep. Of course, I didn't know the extra rest was a reward until I saw my political science test grade. And if there's a good reason to celebrate, then the broken CD drive is it.

Spanish class was easy, but unfornately, the quizzes are always riddled with Spanish vocabulary that I am unfamiliar with. And most unfortunately, I'm going to have to ace everything I do in that class from now on. Starting with the oral presentation I haven't started with.

Went to biology with the intent to stay awake throughout the whole class but I re-rewarded myself with more sleep.

And after I laughed at the sit-inners for wanting amnesty, and after I printed out my biology notes, I went to my car to study. Until I found myself re-re-rewarding myself with yet, another nap.

When I woke up, I lost my right contact, and realized that maybe this life isn't all the rewarding.

Reheated pizza that wasn't mine in the BME lounge, went to the honors college to read about Forbes' World's biliionares, and then re-realized that life isn't all the rewarding.

David and I then proceeded to have an intense match of racquetball as David was met by my defeat, and then I went home as quickly as I could in the traffic and went to church for confessionals.

So while the priest was talking to me one on one, he'd end his sentence with saying "no?" and then I'd nod my head "yes" and then it all made sense. I'd not only have to ace the rest of the Spanish semester, I'll also have to ace the rest of the biology semester, write the 1500 word essay about communcation theory, and actually wake up early enough to take the communcation research tests on time.

And yet for some reason, the less time I put into studying for the political science test, the better I find myself performing in that class. It just goes against the laws of science.

At any rate, after dinner, I was planning to study until the plans were thwarted with Memoirs of a Geisha. Did I feel guilty for not studying? Of course I did. Do I regret sleeping through every single biology class since the beginning of the semester (except for that one time they were giving away energy drinks)? Of course I do. Especially now, when the course material is a whole lot more interesting than cell biology.

But the sooner you realize that you're going to die and none of this is going to matter, the quicker you'll realize that there are more important things than grades. Unless making the grade is a big factor in your happiness. Then yes, maybe.

Do I know what I'm typing? No, not really, but my biology notes are sitting here next to me and I'm--it's daylight savings time.

I don't know

haev agooday

11:57pm: cargo shorts session

i woke up today at ten. Then woke up again at eleven. Then ate breakfast, went through half of the political pre-made science flashcards and woke up again at three. I had to go, but I had to do some chores first, so I read the rest of the flashcards while in traffic.

I got to campus a little earlier than expected so I finished up whatever flashcards I had left and did the crossword puzzle until the test started.

I sat in the back row looking at other people before the final started and they were looking through their books and notes trying to remember last minute details. I'm not one to tell someone how to do their job, but studying last minute will only mix things up. And when you're done with the test, don't look back into your notes to see if you got it right, just wait for the scores to be posted. It's not that important. It's not life or death.

An STD test. Now that's important. That's potentially life or death. Or pregnancy test.

Anyway, after I finished up the exam, I went to the front of the auditorium to turn it in. I dropped the tests in the boxes and made my way back to the back. But as I passed the podium's computer, my cargo pocket somehow caught hold of the cd tray from the computer, pulled it out from its track and bent it into a shape that would not be recoverable.

So the teacher sat there looking at me and I stood there looking at the tray, then looked at the teacher, and just looked at each other for ten seconds until I was like, "Yeah...sorry about that..." and the teacher was like, "Hey, it's not my computer, it's the school's" and then I'm like, "Oh, ok good, then it doesn't matter, I'm out of here."

And that's when I found myself paying ten dollars for a parking spot several blocks away from Minute Maid.

So Jacob, Jeremy and I stood there in the standing room only section for a few innings before Jacob finally caved and got seats in the balcony with his family. We won our opener which was neat, and the Gators won the NCAA championship, which is good for our Gators team here with the guys.

After the game, we parted and I walked the several blocks back to my car without jaywalking. Until I got out of the sight of policemen, that's when I had the bright idea to cut through the parking lot, but then I found myself fenced in. So I did my best Jack Bauer and found an escape route through the gate, so as I tried to sniggle through the hole, my cargo shorts caught onto the metal. Got that through, then my zipper flap got caught. And then got that through and now I'm here recounting the story of how my cargo shorts made the debt that UHouston owe me almost to zero.

But not quite, UH, not quite. Not yet. You still owe me a little more.

have agooday

11:57pm: april fools session

right, so

Saturday
I always forget it's April Fools. Frankly, I don't like to be made a fool. I get angry. Upset. And then I sort of curl into a ball in the corner denying that I was duped on the one day of the year that you're suppose to expect it.

And it's worse when a deadline is set for April 1st. I can't take those deadlines seriously, because, really, it's on April Fools Day. Who's going to really have a deadline on April Fools day. I usually secretly hope the the teacher says, "April FOOLS! You don't have a test today!" But that's never the case.

So anyway I didn't think of an elaborate plan to fool anyone, besides lying. And I always do that so there's really no difference.

Sunday
After losing an hour to the government, I woke up early for church, then woke up late for church, then woke up on time, but came late because I thought the mass was fifteen minutes later than before.

So came home, did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, organized my room, worked on the issue a little bit, and watched Waiting... which was a good movie. Even better than studying for the political science test which is tomorrow. And does that really matter to me right now? Does anything?

I hate school.

have ag--I hate school

11:57pm: the hot girls of the University of Houston don't go to class, they go to Frontier Fiesta session

have a gooday

11:57pm: thursday sesssion

the time is 2:00 and I just finished getting out the bathroom after breaking Mom's glass flower vase with the glass flowers in it. It's a bad feeling break something. Especially something like that that I just broke. And the worst part is, I can still hear all that glass breaking. Kind of like when I'm driving and I randomly see the time when I hit that uHaul hitch and the black guy saying he was going to punch me out and me just about to throw it down and drop him on my elbow.

Anyway, I left for school and got the best parking spot in the world again. Spanish was the same old, and now I'm most certain the teacher is hitting on me by the way she speaks Spanish to me.

I fell asleep in biology during the boring part but woke up during the interesting part when she was talking about the Earth's geological evolution. And for some reason, I find that to be very interesting. More so than molecular biology. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that elementary school didn't really go over molecular biology.

In any case, I left for the Social Work and tried my best to write some stuff for the April/May issue.

I then met up with Etima and she told me she needed to write some references for her RA application, so we went to the library and I used my Editor-in-Chief status and Founder of The Moosehead and wrote her a reference letter. The only problem was, I'm not one to really compliment with detail besides the usual generic stuff. So the only stuff I could come up with was how she was a good black friend unlike the other black "friends" I've had in the past. But I eventually came up with something to say which translated to lies and exaggerations, but whatever. I'm editor-in-chief. I can do whatever I want.

We then went to South Philly Steaks where she studied for her Spanish midterm and I ate my sandwich. We then parted ways and then I went home and did stuff and fell asleep and then after dinner, my brother and I were watching the tennis match between Sharapova and Golovin. In the third set, I was going for the underdog, Golovin and my brother went for Sharapova. It was getting good, I was just down a game, when all of a sudden, Golovin sprains her ankle and retires and I lose.

And then, of course, the glass flowers' stems are broken and the petals are chipped, so I lose again.

And then the other day in the locker room when I was changing, a guy goes right into the same row as I am and I'm thinking, hey there're unspoken rules about two guys in the same locker row, but turns out his locker was there and so it was too late for me to leave so I just continued on, and when I looked up to leave, I saw his bare butt. So I lose again.

It's looking bad.

have agooday

11:57pm: day zero plus two session

a lot of people don't ask me, but I can tell they're thinking it, "Why do you update your diary so much with such meaningless entries" and I tell them in my head, "First of all, it's not a diary, jerk. And second, when I'm older I'd like to look back during my youth and pinpoint the exact moment my life began to go out of control into a dike full of failure."

If you line graphed my life and it's moments of success and failures, March 29, 2006, would be the defining point on the graph where the line slopes down to a drop. Like gravity just pulled that line down into a dike full of failure.

It all began at eight o'clock when my radio alarm went off. I laid in bed for a couple minutes listening to the radio and then drifted off to sleep. Then Mom woke me up asking me to do something before I left the house. And that's when I realized it was 9:20. Twenty minutes late for my Statitics test. And not only that, my back-up phone alarm died.

So I took my online test without any pants and unbrushed teeth. I charged the phone to an acceptable level of energy and called Allen from Spanish whom I only found out yesterday had the same distance education class as me.

So he helped me out with the questions and we compared answers, and I finished. I also discovered that the test starts at 9:00 and ends at 10:10 giving us 70 minutes to take the test, but doesn't say that you have to stop at 10:10. Because I kept on going and submitting answers after 10:10. No matter.

After dilly-dallying around the house for a couple hours, I finally left for school. I spent thirty minutes sitting in traffic at the squeeze, because though the opened up the spur, lanes still merge into a two lane mess. I made the best of it and studied the flashcards I made the night before.

In the library, I went over my essay outlines, the students' submitted essay outlines and a little bit of my flashcards and a lot of my crossword. Though one may say that the crossword was wasting valuable study time, I like to think that the crossword helps you come up with words to b.s. with in your essay. Since there's no chance of actually memorizing the terms verbatim, it's best to fill it up with fluff and b.s. And that's exactly what the crossword does. Helps you think of those hard to come up with words.

So before I got to the testing site, I ran into Mark, chatted a bit, and then continued on and took the test.

The proctors were probably wondering why I kept giggling during the test. But when faced with immenent failure, and a temporary loss of memory, things are a lot more light hearted. Sometimes.

After the test, I went to Sam's on Dunvale to celebrate with a 4 berry sundae. When the lady gave it to me, I thought it was a joke. Not only was there not enough berries, the ice cream wasn't even to the top. So the question is, am I willing to drive the extra distance to get a better 4 berry sundae. And if you asked a crack addict if he was willing to go to Columbia to get better blow, he'd probably say no because he wouldn't know where Columbia is, but I know where Sam's is and the answer is yes. I'd do anything for my 4 berry sundae.

And if Anneliese, in my dreams, wants to get a 4 berry sundae at Dunvale's Sam's then I'm afraid this is where we'd part. And though Anneliese is very likeable in my dreams, 4 berry sundaes are likeableler.

Then I went home, continued the celebration with an episode of 24 and Prison break and three excellent books. Comic books, that is. Because cool people don't read "novels". Unless it's a graphic novel. Then the answer is yes.

have agooday

11:57pm: day zero plus one session

so I made it a point to eat breakfast before I left for school. Lucky Charms. Lucky Charms. Stupid Lucky Charms...

So I left the house by 6:10, drove through 59 and noticed that they did open up the spur that emties in downtown. So traffic was light, either because of that or because it was 6:20. Either way, not sitting in traffic was definitely sexy.

Got to the best parking lot on campus by 6:30 and backed into the second best parking space. The morning was definitely sexy.

So I went to the library, printed out the reviews for Communication Theory and met up with Raj in class to study Spanish.

The audio part was the "write down what you hear the first time and double check the second time" thing again and unlike the first time we did that, where I only got one word per time, this time, I got 3 or 4. And even though it wasn't a complete sentence, I was definitely an improvement.

And as for the test, I was able to read and understand what was being said. Which is easier than the quizzes. But nevertheless, my confidence level dropped which also dropped the day's sexiness. And then I got back my composition and then everything just dropped.

So I went to biology, sat in the back row, did my crossword, and fell asleep. And though I'd like to blame the sleep on the sinus/allergy medicine, I just don't know.

I went to the library and began outlining all the essays. David met up with me and we went to South Philly Connection. Then an early session of racquetball.

And today, I acquired a new racquetball skill like the wall climb and the slide attack, today, I did the cyclone of fury. But I lost anyway. And then I came down with a chest cold with the weezing and phlegm. And though I wanted to play a third game, David said I didn't look too well and I had to agree.

So we called it a day and went home.

On the way home, I felt an itch on my arm and on my neck and around my body, and then the sexy factor began to rapidly decline and I kept on scratching. And then after a loofa scrub, and more essay outlining and a nap, I overcame the chest cold.

That's correct. My will to pass these two tests tomorrow helped my immune system shut out the cold. And now I'm operating at an 80%. But if I don't do well on my tests tomorrow, then I'll probably just say that I was sick. And not sexy.

have agooday

11:57pm: day zero session

like many other times, I've thought about cutting my hair. On the one hand, I want to eat soup without the bother of hair getting in the way, but on the other hand, I don't want to look like a horse.

On Saturday, as the doctor and I were about to do an extraction on a guy with a Hispanic accent. The whole time, he was nervous and was afraid of the pain and everything, and just as I was putting on my gloves, he turns to me and goes, "Nice hair...I always, always wanted hair like that" and I go thanks. And then I thought, well, after this operation, you can finally live out your dream. But then I snapped out of it and realized that he was just getting his tooth pulled. Not a new heart. The point is, I have hair. And I spin a lot. So sometimes, it looks like I'm in a shampoo commercial. Actually, that's not the point. There is not point.

I was at lunch with my parents and my aunt and uncle and Mom asks me if I want to cut my hair, and I tell her and then we continue eating because it's just not that important.

I went home, studied a bit, and by study, I mean getting frustrated, then angry, then depressed, then motivated then tired, and then all of a sudden finding myself in a life size monorail car that Jacob designed and built and then I go up the spiral staircase into the top level of some news corporation and that's when the Jack Bauer adventures begin. And then the cycle continues with me waking up, and then outlining another essay leaving only EIGHT more essays to outline.

Eight more essays. And that's not even the rub. The TA said that the review sheet and the assignments online aren't actual reviews for the test, it's just an example of what could be on the test. So I'm outlining these essays and I could be doing it for no reason, because I don't know the material. I'm looking it up or making it up as I go along.

So college, I hate you. And your college board counterpart.

have a day